


So Hard To Bear

by respoftw



Series: 2018 Hurt/Comfort Bingo [20]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Fever, Hurt/Comfort, Infection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-24 23:36:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16650031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/respoftw/pseuds/respoftw
Summary: A fevered, injured Rodney puts a strain on John.





	So Hard To Bear

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the lyrics of Peggy Lee's Fever. Because I suck at titles.

It was time to clean Rodney’s wound again.

“No...no, no, no, no, no, no - - please - - no, no, no.”

John felt like the worst sort of bastard as Rodney curled in on himself, holding his arm protectively against his chest as he bent over it, all the better to stop John from touching it.

Teyla met John’s gaze.  Her lips were pressed thin with a worry that mirrored his own.  Outside of the cave they were holed up in, the electrical storm showed no sign of stopping.  They couldn’t reach the gate, help couldn’t reach them, and Rodney was only going to get sicker.

Teyla held her hand out for the first aid kit.  “It does not have to be you, John. I can do it.”

John was shaking his head before the offer was even finished.  As much as it killed him to hurt Rodney, he knew that he couldn’t watch anyone else do it in his place.  This would be the third time they had rinsed out the wound. The first time, immediately after the fall that had scraped a long, deep gash in Rodney’s arm, Rodney had screamed bloody murder but at least he was sensate enough to recognise that it was necessary.  

They had headed back towards the gate immediately, the wound deep enough to require stitches, and that was when things had started to go from bad to worse.  First, the rain started, turning the hard packed mud trail that they had been following into a quagmire of mud. Then Rodney had stumbled, landing hard on the ground and taking Ronon with him.  Ronon’s ankle had broken and Rodney’s injured arm - along with the rest of him - had been covered in the reddish brown mud that covered the ground. 

The lightning had started not long after and they’d had no choice but to seek shelter, eventually finding a small cavern built into a rock edge along the way.  The journey had taken long enough that Ronon’s skin had taken on an almost grey hue, his eyes glassy with a pain that he would never admit to and Rodney….Rodney’s face was flushed with fever, his eyes bright as a result of the infection that was already setting in.  

The second cleaning had been more painful than the first, Ronon and Teyla having to hold Rodney still while John debrided the wound, trying to flush it clean.  Rodney’s pain filled yells had grated against John’s defences, a litany of apologies rushing out of his mouth as he did his best to clean the wound. 

Hours had passed since then and it had become painfully obvious to all of them that he hadn’t succeeded as thoroughly as he should.

The fever had only gotten worse, the wound more inflamed, and Rodney - - Rodney didn’t even seem to know where he was anymore.  

“No, no, no, please, no.”  Rodney’s pleading had tapered off into a quiet chant, his voice muffled by the fact that his head was buried between his knees which were pulled up against his chest.

Waving Teyla’s offer off, John crouched down in front of Rodney’s huddled form and softly laid his hand on Rodney’s knee.

“Rodney, buddy, you have to let me see your arm, ok?”

Rodney’s entire body flinched, his legs kicking out at John as he tried to shuffle further away.  “No! No, get away from me. I won’t tell you --  _ John? _ \-- I won’t tell you anything.   _ John? _ _ John? _  Where’s John?”

“John is right here.”  Teyla had moved to crouch on the other side of Rodney, her voice pitched soft and soothing.  “Ronon and I are here also.” Ronon grunted in assent from his place leaning against the opposite wall, the morphine making him too fuzzy to offer much more in the way of support.

“No,” Rodney shook his head, his head coming up to look around him.  John was dismayed at the lack of awareness in them. Wherever Rodney thought he was, it wasn’t here with them.  “No. They wouldn’t let you take them. They’re smarter than that - they’re...John will come back for me and then you’ll be - -  _ John? _ ”  Rodney’s head thunked against the stone wall of the cave hard enough to make John wince as he shook it wildly, his eyes roaming the cave.  “John will come.”

“The fever must be causing hallucinations,” Teyla said, stating the obvious.  “We must move quickly.”

John felt strangely off-kilter.  He had known that Rodney trusted him - hell, Rodney would never have stepped foot offworld with him if he didn’t - but to see how deep that trust went, to know that even when Rodney thought he was in enemy hands he was adamant in his surety that John would come for him...it hit John harder than it probably should have.

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, John took a deep breath and reached for Rodney’s arm.

Even as weak as Rodney was, even with Teyla’s help in holding him still, Rodney still put up a hell of a fight.  His clenched fist whacked hard enough against the side of John’s head that John saw stars for a moment but the two of them held fast, washing the wound out as best as they could.  

Rodney yelled through all of it.  Sometimes it was pleading with them to stop.  Sometimes it was cursing. Whatever he thought they wanted from him though, Rodney refused to talk. Rodney really was a hell of a lot braver than anyone gave him credit for - certainly a lot braver than his SGC file ever gave him credit for.

The thing he came back to the most though was calling out for John.  Telling his ‘captors’ that John would kill them all, that John would come for him, that John wouldn’t leave him behind.

By the time John was finished cleaning the wound, Rodney was slumped against the wall, John’s name falling from his lips like it was all that was keeping him together.

John had a spent a lot of time monitoring himself around Rodney, hyper-aware of every interaction, mentally tallying up the number of times he touched Rodney, smiled at Rodney in comparison to everyone else but he let all that fall away as he reached out, his hand cupping Rodney’s face, the skin almost burning his hand it was so hot.

“John?”  

He startled as Rodney’s eyes focused on him, seeing him for the first time.  

“Yeah, buddy, it’s me.”

Rodney smiled, reaching out with his own hand to stroke John’s cheek.  

“You came.”

John barely noticed Teyla move away to give them some privacy, so intent was his focus on Rodney.  “I’ll always come for you,” he promised, meaning every word.

Rodney’s smile started to sag as his eyes drifted closed.  “Tha’s good, tha’s...love you, John.”

Rodney slumped into unconsciousness leaving John reeling.  Rodney loved him? No, that wasn’t - - he couldn’t. Rodney liked blondes and breasts and brains and - - it was the fever talking - it was - - 

“Bout time one of you made a move,” Ronon’s fuzzy voice sounded loud in the quiet of the cave.  “Gonna do something about it when we get out of here?” he asked John.

John looked towards the entrance of the cave, saw the storm easing off, and smiled.  

Tenderly, he brushed his hand through Rodney’s hair, mopping the sweat on his brow.

“Yeah,” he said.  “I think I might.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Septicemia/Infected Wounds
> 
> Next on the list: Interrogation...


End file.
